Thursday, July 19, 2007

Almost Halfway There!

On Saturday, I will be 20 weeks along in my pregnancy- our baby is almost 50% baked. Coworkers told me all day that I looked "bigger." Of course, I have showcased my belly almost the entire pregnancy. No exception in today's outfit, although I did make the mistake of wearing a shirt that I am outgrowing. I was having some growing pains in my lower abdomen (felt like Corbin was kicking my left side all day- almost like it is bruised), so I had to take the band of my maternity pants & place it below my bulging belly. My shirt barely covered my cantaloupe-sized belly, so it made it difficult to justify reaching for anything today, lest I flash everyone around me some skin.

Since this is my first posting, I should mention a little history on how we got to this point. My DH & I tried for over a year to conceive. I know that seems like a very small amount of time compared to all of the infertility blogs I read, but anyone who has wanted a baby so badly for so long knows that it still hurts; every month I was peeing on stick after stick, charting every temp & mucous change, trying to get clued in as to why it didn't work that month. I had had cervical surgery in November 2005 for precancerous cells. Normally, this doesn't affect fertility, but my doctor is pretty certain that my "cervical problem" was the answer to why we were not getting two lines on our HPT's.

We were preparing for our first IUI in March. I was faithfully drinking my raspberry tea, temping & peeing on my high tech ovulation monitor every day. It was a Friday morning & I was on day 14 of my cycle. Some fluky months, the monitor would not read me at "peak", and I assumed this was because I didn't ovulate that month. I waited anxiously for the flashing stick to disappear & give me the verdit.... finally.... no peak. I was upset, mostly because my OB-GYN was only open Monday through Friday for IUI's & I didn't want to take the chance and wait until Monday. So I lied. In retrospect, not a bad choice.

DH had taken the day off to accompany me to the IUI & provide a "fresh sample". We got the sample there timely, and we waited for the sample to be washed. After a while, my OB came in and talked with us. He looked grim. "I don't know what happened, but the semen did not set up. It is supposed to liquify and then we separate the good from the bad, but it just didn't work. I would suggest just going home & trying naturally."

Double whammy.

I didn't care. My DH had taken the day off & I needed one new thing to try that month so I felt I had a chance. We told him we wanted the procedure anyway. My doc inserted the catheter & said, "This is going to hurt," I guess because the prostaglandins were still very plentiful in the sample. And it did. I laid there for 15 minutes & then we silently left. We were disappointed.

My parents invited us up to Detroit the following weekend for prayer from their pastor & the pastor's wife, who had also struggled with infertility. We accepted the prayer and prayed along. DH felt "very hot" where the pastor's hand had been on his back. We took that as a good sign.
That night, we all went out to the movies. I remember sitting down in the theater seat & having this sharp, stabbing cramp in my lower abdomen. It felt "tight." I think I was implanting.

I never thought I would get that positive HPT. One day at work, I noticed that my nutrition bar (which is usually a very yummy treat to me) tasted funny. It tasted like metal. Kind of strange. Strange enough for me to purchase a digital HPT on the way home. Feeling a little foolish that I had indulged on an expensive HPT and not my usual dollar store kind, I stared at the stick... Suddenly, "Pregnant!" In my mind, I had this elaborate plan to surprise my DH in some creative way. One idea (the favorite of the month) was to put a hamburger bun in the oven & then have DH "check on dinner" & then, nudge, nudge... get it? A bun in the oven. But I couldn't wait. I called him right away. The biggest and best secret.

I feel him moving around now. We saw him at 15w2days in 4D. I can't wait to see him again in 4D in another couple of months. I can't wait until DH can feel him (yes, a little boy) kicking from the outside. Although I am sure that will be a short lived novelty. The end-of-the-road pregnant women I know sometimes find kicks and jabs annoying. I can't wait.

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